On a role...

Two posts in the same month... I feel empowered! :) ha...

181. A break from the narrow view.
Sometimes I get so caught up in the little details that I forget to step back and look at the whole of my life... I have a warm place, food, and love... I'm living in abundance.


182. Eating my own advice.
Don't you hate those moments when you realize you need to take your own advice? I often think the Lord brings other people in my life to reflect my life back to myself... bad word choice... it's 11pm. Oh well...

183. God answers prayers.
So... I was on a roadtrip with the girls coming home from a beautiful wedding when we decided to try yet again the J. Biebs Christmas CD (it hadn't worked on the way down). Well, it didn't work. I told God half-heartedly that I just wanted to listen to songs about His Son's birth and literally 2 seconds later, the CD played. For real, God cares about the little things folks.

184. Reassurance. 
I love that the Lord knows I need reassurance in tough decisions. Turns out I'm not as independent as I thought... but shhh... don't tell anyone.

185. Goodnight.
Yes... I'm thankful for the fact that it is night night time. Sweet dreams. Pillow, here I come!

I've got more... but I want to bond with my pillow tonight. :)

The Fight

I love this season of the year. I may not be extremely thankful for the cold weather, or the fact that I have to pack the shorts away... but there's something about snuggling in with family and friends, the joy that Christmas music brings, delicious coffee creamers that taste comfortable, and most of all the reminder of thankfulness. I didn't realize how bad my heart needed that last one.

When we lay the soil of our hard lives open to the rain of grace and let joy penetrate our cracked and dry places, we let joy soak into our broken skin and deep crevices, life grows.

This is the quote on my blog... ever since I graduated, I have avoided this blog like the plaque... I used busy-ness as an excuse, but it's true that we make time for what's important. I didn't make time to be thankful... to count my blessings. I stopped fighting for a grateful heart because it was easier to complain about the fact that post-grad life is, well, less than wonderful. It's easier to complain with the ladies at work. It's easier to look at the grass that is greener on the other side. But honestly, that's not what I want. I want a heart that loves where the Lord has me because I love Him and trust Him. I want a heart that counts blessings even in the worst of times (this time in my life really isn't that bad).

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. [Psalm 139:23-24]

175. This morning.
Sitting in bed with an electric blanket, time with Jesus, peppermint mocha coffee, and Kenny G Christmas, getting served a piece of humble pie. Beautiful.

176. Forgiveness.
It's funny... I was talking to one of my preschoolers yesterday about asking for forgiveness for our actions... I'm eating my own words today. The Lord is so gracious to love us through everything. I have a lot to learn.

177. Joy and Peace.
I get this feeling every year when Christmas stuff starts coming out and I am reminded of the real reason for this season. I'm brought to tears and so grateful that the majority of people, believers or not, come together to give to others. I am reminded of the hope that God gives us. Everlasting Hope.

178. Christmas music.
Yes, I've already gotten it out. No I don't think it's too soon. I'm thankful for the joy of our Savior's birth, so I will celebrate during the month of November as well. Be a hater if you like. I'll be a lover and enjoy my music. :)  

179. Sleep.
A good night's rest changes your perspective real quick.

180. It is Him, not me.
I am so thankful that He alone makes me worthy... it kind of takes the pressure off to be completely perfect, because no matter how hard I try, I fail. Instead He says, I've conquered it all already, trust and walk with me... I have a plan for you... a purpose... a hope... and I will rock your world. Thank you Papa.

That's what its all about Charlie Brown.

My Cup Runneth Over.

170. Honesty of a friend.
It's often refreshing to hear the truth when you want sympathy.

171. A weekend of laughter... two weekends in a row.
Gosh... God works miracles that's for sure.


172. Best friends.
For real, I never realized that when I prayed for good friends God would answer that prayer several times over and in abundance.

173. God answers prayers.
As if the previous blessing isn't enough... I pray, God answers. He gives me a peace and a joy that makes me content in the fact that I am away from what I thought I wanted.

174. Coffee.
For real, it's debatable if there is a greater earthly gift...

Closed Doors

Today joy is not a feeling. It is not the laughter, the smiles, or the radiance of my face. Rather it is the knowledge that one day I will be in His arms. One day Jesus will make everything right. That will be beautiful.

168. Closed Doors. 
You know, I know I will thank you for this one day Lord. I know that somehow this is for the best interest of me and those around me. It is during times like this that I remember that the Lord lead the Israelites out into the wilderness before He lead them to the Promise Land. He was there then, He is here now. Thank you for being near Lord.

169. He cares more than I do.
Today I also remembered that God cares more about the people I love than I do. Humbling. Oh how He cares for us...

"It might not be what I would choose, but this is the stuff You use..."

Oh, Lordy, I suppose this is the end of summer... most people are starting back to school, the year is winding up again. I am constantly thinking about this Francesca Battisteli song... I lost my keys... where is my phone? It's often the little things that catch me and pull me under. Then there's the line "I've got to trust You know exactly what You're doin" I'm so thankful that the Lord knows and that He has chosen me to be apart of this story. 

162. Friends.
I count this blessing repeatedly. For real, I know they are such a gift from God. We go on trips together, rant together, listen, cry. They know all and still choose to love me. How blessed I am.

163. Road trips.
Who knew this was the best idea since sliced bread. Laughter. Ridiculous stories. Ridiculous old men. Being together.

164. Trusting.
I fall into the Lord's arms and I know that He makes everything beautiful in time... even if that isn't til Heaven. I don't think I'll ever be finished learning to trust... yet He still pursues.

165. Still in the chaos.
Words aren't sufficient for this blessing. Just try it. :)

166. Those moments.
You know those times in life when you feel like God threw your life into a giant mixer and everything keeps flopping around. If I stay in the mixer flopping around, I won't notice that eventually I'll be a grand masterpiece. You can't tell me those cookies enjoy being whipped around like that. :) All this to say that this week I stepped back and realized that sometimes the Lord wants us in these places where everything seems so crazy because He is calling us to a deeper place with Him. He wants to make something more of us. I surrender Lord, I surrender.

167. Realizing I'm a big girl.
I guess this sums up a lot of what is going on in these vague posts. You never know the strength you have until you have to step it up.

I'm still counting. :)

For reals... who knew life post-college would be busier than life in college?! I now officially understand why the elders always told me to enjoy my childhood and teenhood (I think I just made that word up). It's kind of hard to count the little blessings since I haven't written in about 2 weeks, but here's an overview.

157. I have a job... well 2, but one of them I don't consider a "job."
Some weeks I think to myself, why would I choose to work 65-70 hours a week?! Then I remember, I love that one of my "duties" is building relationships with women that most times inspire me more than I ever expected... I love them. Also, I then talk to friends who are still looking... maybe this is a season where God just wants me to be busy. I'm okay with that. :)


158. Laughter in the least expected places.
This week I have had several moments where I have laughed until my sides hurt and I was crying. I forgot how refreshing this is to the soul.

159. Forever friends.
Someone once told me that if you have a friend that lasts a lifetime, you are a blessed woman. I have friends that put up with my crap and emotional mess in the midst of this transition in life... and who will talk to me at 12:30 at night when I can't sleep. I'm so blessed... Thank you Jesus for this gift that I will never comprehend.

160. His love.
I am humbled by the fact that when I feel alone, overwhelmed, crazy, too much, not enough, or whatever the insecure feeling is... the Father whispers His love and reminds me that it is His love and grace that not only sustains me... but allows me to be joyful always. Gah... what a God we have! :)

161. A new (used) car.
Ok, this one is kind of worldly, but Bessie got "totaled" so in order to get the huge check, I had to send her to the graveyard. :( (I'm actually putting off cleaning her out right now because I'm sad to leave her). However, I have a blue PT Cruiser. BAH! Never thought I'd own one... also never thought I'd buy a car... and NOT have car payments. I'm really excited about that last part. :)

I must say that even though I don't write as often, I encourage myself to find the little blessings because without counting the little blessings, I get too caught up in the seemingly big crappy things. Thank you Papa, for all you give. :)

Ok... I give in.

Ok, so it's been a month... my bad. Maybe I will a little overzealous about this whole graduation thing. Don't get me wrong, it's been great and a lot has happened. God definitely provides, that's for sure!

I have, however, learned a lot about myself. For example, the fact that I've avoided this for the past month says something. I've realized that I'm not as content as I thought I was... I recognize that the Lord has provided in abundance once again, yet I'm not overjoyed by it. I'm getting caught up in the hum-drum life and things are always just alright... not bad, but for some strange reason good doesn't sound right either... I know there something's missing.

Thanksgiving. There's a reason the Lord tells us to count our blessings... to submit to Him and recognize His work in our lives and give Him the glory. It makes things not about us, but rather His works. Something so simple, yet so easy to forget. So here's to counting the gifts that I'm given.

152. A second job.
Despite the fact that I'm super busy... it sure beats the opposite.

153. Little kids.
One second you think you're gonna lose it and the next they're hugging you telling you you're their favorite. Ok, melt my heart. :)

154. Storms.
There's something oddly beautiful about the cool wind and stillness after the storm.

155. Reading for fun.
I think this tops it all for top 10 things of coolest things since graduating. I have already read almost 2 books... for pleasure. It's better than cable. 

156. Summer weather.
Some hate this... but I would take sweaty over freezing any day. any time. no questions.

So here's to giving in and remembering to count my blessings. They're all around. I need to embrace them. :)