197. Chocolate cookies...
enough said.

Contentment.

Million-dollar question: Will we ever be truly content this side of heaven? 

191. New Job.
So technically it's more hours, but I think my psycho-stressed I can't do anything feeling is going away... for now. :)

192. Thanksgiving.
I love an excuse to count blessings...

193. Cooking, sleeping, crocheting, watching Christmas movies.
Bliss. Oh and a margarita.

194. Hope.
I'd love to feel like I'm not in this in between stage for the rest of my life... but I'm thinking maybe I'd better learn to cope with the feeling rather than wait for it to go away. Hope. One day, I'll be where I was made for... Walking literally beside THE Father.

195. Children.
They really are beautiful beings. They amaze me. I want to be more like them.


196. Reminders that kick you in the behind.
Storytime:: I was sitting thinking about how certain things in my life could be better and how I feel like a failure in so many things lately. God ever so gently reminded me that I haven't laid them at His feet and fallen to my face and prayed about it. Ya, sure I've sent up a "Hey God... Here's what I'm thinking... This is how I feel... Could you please help me with blah blah blah... Help me not be a bleeep to so and so..." But really... I haven't surrendered. I haven't listened. I think I need to shut up more often.

 I'm tired... so more light gifts. I figure I should use this season of thankfulness to get back into my blogging... Just because my personality type says I often have unfinished projects doesn't mean I always need them! :)

186. Leaps of Faith.
Some days I make decisions in the hopes that they are for the best... this past week I made one that affects a handful of people... I have to trust... the Lord and myself.

187. Jesus, friend of children.
He really is a friend of children. He speaks to them and they amaze me with their wisdom. I should learn to have the childlike faith and remember that He loves me.

188. A smile.
Smiles are so powerful. I underestimate them.

189. The Library.
Ok, so maybe last month I had to pay a $6 late fee fine, but I had a boatload of books and I only paid $6 to read them. Maybe I should try for no fees. Ha... But I'm a nerd and I love the library.

190. Fuzzy Socks.
I should give them away to Salvation Army... Everyone needs a pair of these puppies.

On a role...

Two posts in the same month... I feel empowered! :) ha...

181. A break from the narrow view.
Sometimes I get so caught up in the little details that I forget to step back and look at the whole of my life... I have a warm place, food, and love... I'm living in abundance.


182. Eating my own advice.
Don't you hate those moments when you realize you need to take your own advice? I often think the Lord brings other people in my life to reflect my life back to myself... bad word choice... it's 11pm. Oh well...

183. God answers prayers.
So... I was on a roadtrip with the girls coming home from a beautiful wedding when we decided to try yet again the J. Biebs Christmas CD (it hadn't worked on the way down). Well, it didn't work. I told God half-heartedly that I just wanted to listen to songs about His Son's birth and literally 2 seconds later, the CD played. For real, God cares about the little things folks.

184. Reassurance. 
I love that the Lord knows I need reassurance in tough decisions. Turns out I'm not as independent as I thought... but shhh... don't tell anyone.

185. Goodnight.
Yes... I'm thankful for the fact that it is night night time. Sweet dreams. Pillow, here I come!

I've got more... but I want to bond with my pillow tonight. :)

The Fight

I love this season of the year. I may not be extremely thankful for the cold weather, or the fact that I have to pack the shorts away... but there's something about snuggling in with family and friends, the joy that Christmas music brings, delicious coffee creamers that taste comfortable, and most of all the reminder of thankfulness. I didn't realize how bad my heart needed that last one.

When we lay the soil of our hard lives open to the rain of grace and let joy penetrate our cracked and dry places, we let joy soak into our broken skin and deep crevices, life grows.

This is the quote on my blog... ever since I graduated, I have avoided this blog like the plaque... I used busy-ness as an excuse, but it's true that we make time for what's important. I didn't make time to be thankful... to count my blessings. I stopped fighting for a grateful heart because it was easier to complain about the fact that post-grad life is, well, less than wonderful. It's easier to complain with the ladies at work. It's easier to look at the grass that is greener on the other side. But honestly, that's not what I want. I want a heart that loves where the Lord has me because I love Him and trust Him. I want a heart that counts blessings even in the worst of times (this time in my life really isn't that bad).

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. [Psalm 139:23-24]

175. This morning.
Sitting in bed with an electric blanket, time with Jesus, peppermint mocha coffee, and Kenny G Christmas, getting served a piece of humble pie. Beautiful.

176. Forgiveness.
It's funny... I was talking to one of my preschoolers yesterday about asking for forgiveness for our actions... I'm eating my own words today. The Lord is so gracious to love us through everything. I have a lot to learn.

177. Joy and Peace.
I get this feeling every year when Christmas stuff starts coming out and I am reminded of the real reason for this season. I'm brought to tears and so grateful that the majority of people, believers or not, come together to give to others. I am reminded of the hope that God gives us. Everlasting Hope.

178. Christmas music.
Yes, I've already gotten it out. No I don't think it's too soon. I'm thankful for the joy of our Savior's birth, so I will celebrate during the month of November as well. Be a hater if you like. I'll be a lover and enjoy my music. :)  

179. Sleep.
A good night's rest changes your perspective real quick.

180. It is Him, not me.
I am so thankful that He alone makes me worthy... it kind of takes the pressure off to be completely perfect, because no matter how hard I try, I fail. Instead He says, I've conquered it all already, trust and walk with me... I have a plan for you... a purpose... a hope... and I will rock your world. Thank you Papa.

That's what its all about Charlie Brown.

My Cup Runneth Over.

170. Honesty of a friend.
It's often refreshing to hear the truth when you want sympathy.

171. A weekend of laughter... two weekends in a row.
Gosh... God works miracles that's for sure.


172. Best friends.
For real, I never realized that when I prayed for good friends God would answer that prayer several times over and in abundance.

173. God answers prayers.
As if the previous blessing isn't enough... I pray, God answers. He gives me a peace and a joy that makes me content in the fact that I am away from what I thought I wanted.

174. Coffee.
For real, it's debatable if there is a greater earthly gift...

Closed Doors

Today joy is not a feeling. It is not the laughter, the smiles, or the radiance of my face. Rather it is the knowledge that one day I will be in His arms. One day Jesus will make everything right. That will be beautiful.

168. Closed Doors. 
You know, I know I will thank you for this one day Lord. I know that somehow this is for the best interest of me and those around me. It is during times like this that I remember that the Lord lead the Israelites out into the wilderness before He lead them to the Promise Land. He was there then, He is here now. Thank you for being near Lord.

169. He cares more than I do.
Today I also remembered that God cares more about the people I love than I do. Humbling. Oh how He cares for us...

"It might not be what I would choose, but this is the stuff You use..."

Oh, Lordy, I suppose this is the end of summer... most people are starting back to school, the year is winding up again. I am constantly thinking about this Francesca Battisteli song... I lost my keys... where is my phone? It's often the little things that catch me and pull me under. Then there's the line "I've got to trust You know exactly what You're doin" I'm so thankful that the Lord knows and that He has chosen me to be apart of this story. 

162. Friends.
I count this blessing repeatedly. For real, I know they are such a gift from God. We go on trips together, rant together, listen, cry. They know all and still choose to love me. How blessed I am.

163. Road trips.
Who knew this was the best idea since sliced bread. Laughter. Ridiculous stories. Ridiculous old men. Being together.

164. Trusting.
I fall into the Lord's arms and I know that He makes everything beautiful in time... even if that isn't til Heaven. I don't think I'll ever be finished learning to trust... yet He still pursues.

165. Still in the chaos.
Words aren't sufficient for this blessing. Just try it. :)

166. Those moments.
You know those times in life when you feel like God threw your life into a giant mixer and everything keeps flopping around. If I stay in the mixer flopping around, I won't notice that eventually I'll be a grand masterpiece. You can't tell me those cookies enjoy being whipped around like that. :) All this to say that this week I stepped back and realized that sometimes the Lord wants us in these places where everything seems so crazy because He is calling us to a deeper place with Him. He wants to make something more of us. I surrender Lord, I surrender.

167. Realizing I'm a big girl.
I guess this sums up a lot of what is going on in these vague posts. You never know the strength you have until you have to step it up.

I'm still counting. :)

For reals... who knew life post-college would be busier than life in college?! I now officially understand why the elders always told me to enjoy my childhood and teenhood (I think I just made that word up). It's kind of hard to count the little blessings since I haven't written in about 2 weeks, but here's an overview.

157. I have a job... well 2, but one of them I don't consider a "job."
Some weeks I think to myself, why would I choose to work 65-70 hours a week?! Then I remember, I love that one of my "duties" is building relationships with women that most times inspire me more than I ever expected... I love them. Also, I then talk to friends who are still looking... maybe this is a season where God just wants me to be busy. I'm okay with that. :)


158. Laughter in the least expected places.
This week I have had several moments where I have laughed until my sides hurt and I was crying. I forgot how refreshing this is to the soul.

159. Forever friends.
Someone once told me that if you have a friend that lasts a lifetime, you are a blessed woman. I have friends that put up with my crap and emotional mess in the midst of this transition in life... and who will talk to me at 12:30 at night when I can't sleep. I'm so blessed... Thank you Jesus for this gift that I will never comprehend.

160. His love.
I am humbled by the fact that when I feel alone, overwhelmed, crazy, too much, not enough, or whatever the insecure feeling is... the Father whispers His love and reminds me that it is His love and grace that not only sustains me... but allows me to be joyful always. Gah... what a God we have! :)

161. A new (used) car.
Ok, this one is kind of worldly, but Bessie got "totaled" so in order to get the huge check, I had to send her to the graveyard. :( (I'm actually putting off cleaning her out right now because I'm sad to leave her). However, I have a blue PT Cruiser. BAH! Never thought I'd own one... also never thought I'd buy a car... and NOT have car payments. I'm really excited about that last part. :)

I must say that even though I don't write as often, I encourage myself to find the little blessings because without counting the little blessings, I get too caught up in the seemingly big crappy things. Thank you Papa, for all you give. :)

Ok... I give in.

Ok, so it's been a month... my bad. Maybe I will a little overzealous about this whole graduation thing. Don't get me wrong, it's been great and a lot has happened. God definitely provides, that's for sure!

I have, however, learned a lot about myself. For example, the fact that I've avoided this for the past month says something. I've realized that I'm not as content as I thought I was... I recognize that the Lord has provided in abundance once again, yet I'm not overjoyed by it. I'm getting caught up in the hum-drum life and things are always just alright... not bad, but for some strange reason good doesn't sound right either... I know there something's missing.

Thanksgiving. There's a reason the Lord tells us to count our blessings... to submit to Him and recognize His work in our lives and give Him the glory. It makes things not about us, but rather His works. Something so simple, yet so easy to forget. So here's to counting the gifts that I'm given.

152. A second job.
Despite the fact that I'm super busy... it sure beats the opposite.

153. Little kids.
One second you think you're gonna lose it and the next they're hugging you telling you you're their favorite. Ok, melt my heart. :)

154. Storms.
There's something oddly beautiful about the cool wind and stillness after the storm.

155. Reading for fun.
I think this tops it all for top 10 things of coolest things since graduating. I have already read almost 2 books... for pleasure. It's better than cable. 

156. Summer weather.
Some hate this... but I would take sweaty over freezing any day. any time. no questions.

So here's to giving in and remembering to count my blessings. They're all around. I need to embrace them. :)

A whole new world.

147. New Opportunities. 
Hopeful opportunities... that could lead to jobs. Oh gosh... I love when the Lord takes moments that are full of my imperfections and craziness and says, "Oh hey, I'm in control... Let's do this." Beautiful.

148. Jennie's mom.
No, this is not some Stacy's mom rendition... Her mother came and made our little apartment a home...

149. Family.
They bless my life. I love that as I get older, I can relate to them better and build deeper relationships with them.

150. Children.
Here's today's event:
*knock, knock* *opens door* *sees smiling girl*
Me: Hi Lexi.
Lexi: Look what I brought!!! (Pulls out huge Toy Story 3 coloring book)
Jennie and I: Oh fun, let's color!
Lexi smiles... then says, "Oh and can we make cookies for my class?!"
Jennie and I smile at each other... Yes Lexi, that'd be great if that's what you wanna do!
Lexi: Yes!! That's fun!
I love that our only friends in this complex are 8 and 12. My life is great.


151. My SGI girlies.
They threw me a graduation party... They are incredible... Watching them grow has been such a blessing in my life. So proud of them!

I think I'm going to like this whole after graduation thing... not that it's easy, but rather that I know it's where I'm supposed to be... Oh how He provides. :)

And the next journey begins...

143. Neighbors.
I was expecting not to make too many friends in this little apartment complex. Jennie and I have already made 2... one's 12 and one's 8. They like to come over and eat our cookies and brownies and play war after school. They knock on our door daily. And I thought my life was going to be dull....

144. 2 Interviews.
I have TWO interviews... I mean, so maybe they'll both flop, but it's two steps further in this new little journey of my life. :)


145. Great convos.
I love little surprises in my day, when I get to know people's hearts at a deeper level and I know that God is using me and still teaching me.

146. Reading for FUN.
Seriously, I didn't realize how much I missed this. It's the bomb. I want to become a nerd again. :)

On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand.

138. Done. Finished. No more.
Well, I do have to finish online American gov... but other than that... finished. weird. I think I like it.

139. Family
I love them so much. They might be the greatest ever.

140. Realizing I don't have a time for the next anticipated transition...
Ok, so maybe I'm not fully convinced this is a gift yet... the unknown is slightly terrifying, BUT... I do know the Lord is faithful and He will and does care for me. I guess this means so long to my dependence on myself. :)

141. Workouts.
Workouts=happy endorphins (and happy people just don't kill their husbands... (Legally Blonde reference)). :) It also means less tears for me.

142. Hope.
No matter what the situation, I have a hope which can never be shaken. On Christ the solid rock I stand.... Praise Jesus.

Even still... I shall sing your praises!

It's finals week. My life is exploding. And things are getting really uncomfortable.

BUT. I have SO much to be thankful for still...

132. Roommates.
They tell funny jokes. They cry. They make fun of you. They play jokes on you. They make secret groups when you freak out that you'll never be friends again. I love them.

133. Hannah Wood.
She's sitting in front of my right now. She's supposed to be writing a paper, but instead we have successfully had heart to heart convos, drank coffee, and of course, not studied for this final.

134. Sunshine.
Two days of it. Yes please.

135. A final that takes 6 minutes.
Need I say more?

136. Library study sessions.
I have been in the library more this week than I've been all semester. Ironically, these little study sessions were quite comical and yet still productive. LOOVE it....

137. Family.
They'll be here Friday. I can't wait.

I could keep going, but I'm supposed to be studying. opps. :-)

Songs that speak to my soul.

131. This woman. 
I love how sometimes songs sing your soul... An oldie but a goodie.

Vacation? Maybe not...

126. A mental vacation.
I was driving today and saw this couple zooming through the field on their little 4-wheeler... I pretended I was them... and experienced 30 seconds of bliss...

This is where I would like to run away to right now.

127. Beautiful friends.
I love my friends. Sometimes I forget I love them when we're all cranky... and sometimes, when we're all cranky, I'm even more thankful for them... I like that we can just be around each other.

128. Reminders.
I need lots of them these days. This week... Jesus reminded me how much he loves me through songs, friends, sleep, and his sustaining grace.

129. Butterflies and Blooms
Reminders that God is indeed working. And besides... So flipping proud of the girls... no one else can rock life like they do. They're a blessing to know.


130. Grades do not define me.
Dear Ethics prof, please understand that this semester.... Though an A in the class might get me some bling bling on my Heavenly Crown, I'd rather earn the bling in other ways....

He is Risen!!!!

121. He has risen indeed!!!
For reals... the best gift of all. Jesus has risen. He has overcome death... BAM. ROASTED! :)

122. Eggs.
Seriously... check this....

I wish I could say a 5 year old did them....

Quite the egg-celent bunch, eh? (Ba dum pshhhh)

123. Ducklings.
Presh. I know...

Willow and Stew...

124. Framily.
I love friends that have become family. Such a blessing. For real.

125. Rainy days=sweats and hats.
I can look like a slob and blame it on the weather, not my exhaustion. :-)

Just a few more hops until Easter... [get it, hops, like bunnies]. :)

117. Potato World
Before you judge, let me explain... My dear roommate, Steffi, pops up and says [in a very excited voice], "GUYS! Look at this! It's the world's gravitational pull... isn't it fascinating?!" {insert giggles here} "No... isn't it cool... it looks like a potato!!"
Reason # 45984205 why I love my roommates.

118. No ethics.
Love the prof, but could seriously do without this class... mostly because I only get about 1/4 of the lecture... at least that makes me 1/4 smarter than before the class, eh?

119. Easter baskets.
For real... what's more exciting than cheesy kid's Easter toys?!?!

120. Tomorrow is Friday [kind of].
I love that despite what America thinks about being biased to "religious holidays," Easter still gives us days off... woot woot.... 

Dancing in the Rain

113. Trips with friends. 
I love that I get to actually talk with friends sometimes.

114. SG girlies.
They're such precious gifts to my life. 

115. Roommates.
Seriously.... let me just recap the past 2 minutes:
Steffi: Erin, I have a game you can play.
Erin: What do you want me to get?
Steffi: It's called... army crawl to Steffi's phone, grab it, and army crawl back.
Erin: **army crawls across the floor*

Erin: Its like my Harry Potter song... walks singing.
Lolly: You are soooo weird.... **climbs into laundry basket**

Oh my flip... seriously. I don't know how my life could ever be complete without them.

116. This picture.
I want to dance in the rain, like this woman... except preferably not by myself. Life is so much better with people.

What a beautiful world.

112. I'm sitting in Panera, gamers in the background, a little boy walking by with a plateful of food, so proud that he can carry it by himself, a woman who is rambling about her life, and another sitting across the table doing homework. There is so much going on.... and I'm reminded... what a beautiful world we live in. Each person created uniquely, beautifully, and with a story.... Each created by a Master Artist. Wow. How incredible.

PS... I forgot to mention... Zorro just started playing on my iTunes while on shuffle. Oh how I love life...